Why Is It So Hard To Love Ourselves?

What is love?

From a very young age on we learn that love is something we can give to others and it is something we receive from others. We don’t usually learn about loving ourselves so the habit of doing so is never properly formed in the first place. And then we have parents. Ideally, they take the responsibility to teach us about the world and prepare us for life. Inevitably they fall into the reward and punishment method – tending to reward us with love when we meet their expectations and punish us when we fail to do so. We learn about the concept of being a lovable person by seeking to meet other people’s expectations – making people proud and happy to be loved in return.

Selfish vs. Selfless

One of the biggest lessons our parents teach us is to not be selfish. My parents and teachers preached: “I comes last!” We always have to sacrifice our own happiness for the happiness of everyone around us if that’s for the greater good, this is what defines a good person – and this is why the world is how it is. Indeed.

If it was so good to always put ourselves last it’d make us incredibly happy, wouldn’t it? Yet so many people are constantly complaining about the sacrifices they are making for others, never having the strength or time to pay attention to themselves. Maybe it’s courage they are lacking. Courage to look in the mirror and be happy about who they are and what they do. Oh what, they aren’t happy you say? … Right. It’s hard to be happy and love yourself when all the big decisions you’ve made in life based on other people’s ideals and expectations.

It is what it is: a social standard.

But funny how, if you step back and look at it from another perspective, the constant effort of keeping a selfless image, in essence, is the most selfish thing one can ever do. Besides, being selfless never buys you the right to play the victim and cry about how you always are the one who comes short. Especially in the case of parents, where parents expect their children to make sacrifices in return – it’s not about selflessness.

You see, people don’t care about being selfless as much as about making others think and say that of them. Everyone wants to be a good person. Yet it is in our nature to be selfish. Personality tests are so popular because people want to know more about themselves. Why would that be the case if we all were truly – selfless?

So how do we love ourselves?

The only thing standing in the way towards self-love is the mental block of “allowance” or “approval” to go and explore ourselves, the world and make personal decisions based on our own likes and wishes, regardless of what other people think. What are you afraid of? Others laughing at or scolding you if you make a mistake? Mistakes are inevitable in life. Make your own and learn from them rather than regretting the mistakes others have led you into.

 

New Moon Speaks

The New Moon is all about new beginnings, setting intentions, about giving an old idea a fresh chance etc and this month it is in Aries, the archetypal sign of new beginnings and the Self.

It’s not like I have a real obsession with the Moon. I’m simply aware of the influence it has over us, believe it or not, it’s there. If it’s strong enough to affect the Earth then it does affect us. Specifically when it comes to the Moon, there are many things we don’t know of yet, there’s so much to discover. I like how people tend to think every mystery’s been solved and if not then there surely is an easy way to explain it. Which makes sense, since our world begins with us. We can turn any misconception into a perfect chain of arguments. Those who disagree will create perfect chains of arguments to prove the opposite – and it will make sense from their point of view.

Maybe there are some sensitive people out there who felt the need to start afresh lately being preoccupied with themselves. You’re not going mad, it’s the Moon’s calling and if you feel it, follow it.

-★-

Narrow Minds and their Potential – Rant

The reason the world’s in such big trouble, is that 99% of people see themselves as “ordinary” folks. And “ordinary” folks take no responsibility for anything that’s currently happening on the planet – they have no power, no voice, they are unimportant.

At the same time, however, they consider themselves a part of the “advanced” human race – taking every right to support harmful agendas which rather surely than slowly destroy the planet because one ordinary person has no weight in this world and their actions don’t matter. We have 99% of this kind.

The truth is, with superiority comes responsibility. Truly advanced beings don’t consider their lives being worth more than the lives of other species. Truly advanced beings do not justify the destruction and suffering they cause with them simply being “better” and “more important”. Dumb idiots do this kind of stuff. Truly advanced beings do not support their existence by destroying the very environment they live in simply because they think they won’t live enough to face the consequences of their actions.

The first thing people think about when they encounter an unknown creature is how to capture it. When they hear of “ETs” they think about “Alien Invasion”. When they hear about “Superintelligence” they think of AI taking over and destroing every single one of them. By now it should be obvious: humans are hostile creatures living in constant fear. It doesn’t have to be like this. With true superiority comes responsibility. Responsibility for our actions, responsibility for our life and the environment we place ourselves in.

Make up your mind, for you can only be one: an advanced being or an irresponsible piece of trash sucking the energy out of the living planet like a parasite.

Change begins with one, spreads through the mass consciousness to many, manifests a thousandfold on the physical plane and this process speeds up exponentially. Maybe there’s enough time left to save something on this planet but do people still deserve this chance?

The Other You

Try to be a simple person with a simple mind, having a seemingly unshakeable opinion on any given topic, a rock-solid view of the world – and everyone will love you.

However, being a “closed” book will draw a lot of attention to you, too! People will want to read you. The problem is, we are complex beings. Yet the world expects us to wear only one face. Which face did you choose?

“There are many voices in my head” was a common phrase I’d use when I legitimately wanted to share something about myself with someone else. So far, there was only one person who didn’t think I was just playing around and whose previously sparked curiosity turned into a raging fire after hearing me say this. That person tirelessly followed me around asking “What do you mean?”, until I told them. And this, ladies and gentlemen, is how I found a real best friend.

These voices are the other me. Each and every one of them is another me. It’s the me who is afraid. It’s the me who’s always sad. The one who’s angry at the world, then there’s the useless me, the lazy me, the one who doesn’t believe in me. But not only that, there’s also the happy me! The one who always sees the light side, the joyful me, the playful me. The fearless me. There’s another me who always says “You can”. I see them all, I know them all and I find more of them each time I look within.

There are voices in your head, too. Admit it. No matter how minimal of a personality society wants you to take on, these voices will always speak to you. Most of the time they suck. Maybe they talk down on you, maybe they tell you what you should’ve done instead. Maybe they bring you worries and sorrow so you choose to cut them off. But they always show up again. They are unwilling to let go because you created them. What they tell you is the perspective you gave them.

These thoughtforms are not our enemies, as I said before – we also have positive voices in our heads but they tend to be quieter at first. Once you give yourself some time to listen to the voices’ stories, you’ll realize they always want your best, no matter their perspective. So the next time you hear a fearful voice in your mind, remember it wants the best for you – speak to it, ask it what it’s afraid of and why. You’ll see, really, it’s the other you.

via Daily Prompt

Of Noise, the Puppeteer and Silence, the Therapist

Label – Daily Prompt

You can label anyone and anything. Yes, even Noise and Silence.

– ★ –

I can’t exactly tell when I began feeling drained from going out. I just did it less and less and everyone around me wondered why. Now I know. It’s the lame “hit songs” blasting my ears. It’s the pointless chatter. It’s the terrible smell of perfume and cigarette smoke all around me, I can’t breathe. The world is so cluttered. And the noise is of the numbing kind. As if someone needs to hide an elephant in plain sight and does so through distraction aka numbing of the senses.

You know, when visiting family members in the past, I noticed the TV running with no one watching. If it wasn’t the TV, it’d be the radio. “Do they avoid silence like a plague?”, I wondered. “Or is it just because I’m like a guest in need of entertainment now?”  The answer is simple: we can’t keep talking non-stop, and moments of silence are considered awkward in our society.

You see, apparently, silence is for sad people. Maybe old people or some creeps. I say noise is a puppeteer. It plays you well and it’s addictive! Similar to drugs, after having a blast, your sober mind pulls you back into reality. All the things you pushed away and didn’t want to think about now line up knocking on your door. It sucks.

However, to continue functioning properly you have to take the trash out. I mean, you take your trash bags out once they’re full and stinky, right? Same goes for the mental trash. It might stink dealing with various unpleasant thoughts, fears an worries but you’ll be able to recognize thought patterns soon, you’ll gain a better understanding of who you are and what rocks your boat. It’s true that once we learn how to feel comfortable in our own company we’ll never feel lonely again! So long, be brave, dive into your mind and see what you will find!

The Mind Is Our Playground

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In my previous post I wrote about ‘the twisted mind of ours and how we create our reality by literally thinking it into existence’- and this is some exciting stuff, probably just as exciting as a playground for a child! (At least how it was during my childhood, ha)

Speaking of childhood, I was a really active kid, I liked making discoveries just as much as I was into spooky and ‘mysterious’ stuff. These qualities remained unchanged up until now. However, today I’m more into psychology, astrology and the power of the mind. I am also intrigued by the negativity we surround ourselves with and dwell in as ‘grown-up’ human beings.

Negativity is something everyone experiences, it’s the uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty for some, the fear of what the future brings for others, the dissatisfaction with the ‘same old same old’, it might even be something we might not want to admit or want to look at, like a past trauma which keeps influencing our decisions from a hidden corner in our mind – we all have a bunch of those!

Yet it’s somewhat taboo in our society to deal with this. Why? I can’t be a 100% sure but from what I found, people would rather pretend negativity doesn’t exist because dealing with it would make them a negative being in their mind. While the complete opposite is the case in reality! You only can know true positivity after understanding what negativity is and where it comes from. Afterall, we don’t ignore the wounds on our body, why ignoring those in our minds?

Facing our big and little fears and going back in time to deal with past traumas brings about a sense of empowerment and can result in some sort of ‘personality change’. But at the same time it’s socially unacceptable to embark on a journey of self-therapy (like, who believes in that?!) and sometimes it’s considered ‘arrogant’ to have a strong sense of self.

So, looking at some of those hidden things inside my head revived this dormant feeling of going on an adventure I used to love as a kid. But this time it’s an adventure that never ends and I’m glad I’m making the decision to take it a step further and start sharing with others!