Why Is It So Hard To Love Ourselves?

What is love?

From a very young age on we learn that love is something we can give to others and it is something we receive from others. We don’t usually learn about loving ourselves so the habit of doing so is never properly formed in the first place. And then we have parents. Ideally, they take the responsibility to teach us about the world and prepare us for life. Inevitably they fall into the reward and punishment method – tending to reward us with love when we meet their expectations and punish us when we fail to do so. We learn about the concept of being a lovable person by seeking to meet other people’s expectations – making people proud and happy to be loved in return.

Selfish vs. Selfless

One of the biggest lessons our parents teach us is to not be selfish. My parents and teachers preached: “I comes last!” We always have to sacrifice our own happiness for the happiness of everyone around us if that’s for the greater good, this is what defines a good person – and this is why the world is how it is. Indeed.

If it was so good to always put ourselves last it’d make us incredibly happy, wouldn’t it? Yet so many people are constantly complaining about the sacrifices they are making for others, never having the strength or time to pay attention to themselves. Maybe it’s courage they are lacking. Courage to look in the mirror and be happy about who they are and what they do. Oh what, they aren’t happy you say? … Right. It’s hard to be happy and love yourself when all the big decisions you’ve made in life based on other people’s ideals and expectations.

It is what it is: a social standard.

But funny how, if you step back and look at it from another perspective, the constant effort of keeping a selfless image, in essence, is the most selfish thing one can ever do. Besides, being selfless never buys you the right to play the victim and cry about how you always are the one who comes short. Especially in the case of parents, where parents expect their children to make sacrifices in return – it’s not about selflessness.

You see, people don’t care about being selfless as much as about making others think and say that of them. Everyone wants to be a good person. Yet it is in our nature to be selfish. Personality tests are so popular because people want to know more about themselves. Why would that be the case if we all were truly – selfless?

So how do we love ourselves?

The only thing standing in the way towards self-love is the mental block of “allowance” or “approval” to go and explore ourselves, the world and make personal decisions based on our own likes and wishes, regardless of what other people think. What are you afraid of? Others laughing at or scolding you if you make a mistake? Mistakes are inevitable in life. Make your own and learn from them rather than regretting the mistakes others have led you into.

 

Advertisements

New Moon Speaks

The New Moon is all about new beginnings, setting intentions, about giving an old idea a fresh chance etc and this month it is in Aries, the archetypal sign of new beginnings and the Self.

It’s not like I have a real obsession with the Moon. I’m simply aware of the influence it has over us, believe it or not, it’s there. If it’s strong enough to affect the Earth then it does affect us. Specifically when it comes to the Moon, there are many things we don’t know of yet, there’s so much to discover. I like how people tend to think every mystery’s been solved and if not then there surely is an easy way to explain it. Which makes sense, since our world begins with us. We can turn any misconception into a perfect chain of arguments. Those who disagree will create perfect chains of arguments to prove the opposite – and it will make sense from their point of view.

Maybe there are some sensitive people out there who felt the need to start afresh lately being preoccupied with themselves. You’re not going mad, it’s the Moon’s calling and if you feel it, follow it.

-★-

Narrow Minds and their Potential – Rant

The reason the world’s in such big trouble, is that 99% of people see themselves as “ordinary” folks. And “ordinary” folks take no responsibility for anything that’s currently happening on the planet – they have no power, no voice, they are unimportant.

At the same time, however, they consider themselves a part of the “advanced” human race – taking every right to support harmful agendas which rather surely than slowly destroy the planet because one ordinary person has no weight in this world and their actions don’t matter. We have 99% of this kind.

The truth is, with superiority comes responsibility. Truly advanced beings don’t consider their lives being worth more than the lives of other species. Truly advanced beings do not justify the destruction and suffering they cause with them simply being “better” and “more important”. Dumb idiots do this kind of stuff. Truly advanced beings do not support their existence by destroying the very environment they live in simply because they think they won’t live enough to face the consequences of their actions.

The first thing people think about when they encounter an unknown creature is how to capture it. When they hear of “ETs” they think about “Alien Invasion”. When they hear about “Superintelligence” they think of AI taking over and destroing every single one of them. By now it should be obvious: humans are hostile creatures living in constant fear. It doesn’t have to be like this. With true superiority comes responsibility. Responsibility for our actions, responsibility for our life and the environment we place ourselves in.

Make up your mind, for you can only be one: an advanced being or an irresponsible piece of trash sucking the energy out of the living planet like a parasite.

Change begins with one, spreads through the mass consciousness to many, manifests a thousandfold on the physical plane and this process speeds up exponentially. Maybe there’s enough time left to save something on this planet but do people still deserve this chance?

Of Noise, The Puppeteer and Silence, The Therapist

silence

I can’t exactly tell when I began feeling drained from going out. I just did it less and less and everyone around me wondered why. Now I know. It’s the lame “hit songs” blasting my ears. It’s the pointless chatter. It’s the terrible smell of perfume and cigarette smoke all around me, I can’t breathe. The world is so cluttered. And the noise is of the numbing kind. As if someone needs to hide an elephant in plain sight and does so through distraction aka numbing of the senses.

You know, when visiting family members in the past, I noticed the TV running with no one watching. If it wasn’t the TV, it’d be the radio. “Do they avoid silence like a plague?”, I wondered. “Or is it just because I’m like a guest in need of entertainment now?”  The answer is simple: we can’t keep talking non-stop, and moments of silence are considered awkward.

You see, apparently, silence is for sad people. Maybe old people or some creeps. I say noise is a puppeteer. It plays you well and it’s addictive! Similar to drugs, after having a blast, your sober mind pulls you back into reality. All the things you pushed away and didn’t want to think about now line up knocking on your door. It sucks.

However, to continue functioning properly you have to take the trash out. I mean, you take your trash bags out once they’re full and stinky, right? Same goes for the mental trash. It might stink dealing with various unpleasant thoughts, fears an worries but you’ll be able to recognize thought patterns soon, you’ll gain a better understanding of who you are and what floats your boat. It’s true that once we learn how to feel comfortable in our own company we’ll never feel lonely again.

Why I’m Here And What The Blog Is About

Why am I blogging publicly instead of keeping a diary?

I see writing as a powerful tool to release stress and tension. Nowadays especially, as The Age of Information is taking its toll on our ability to concentrate and think clearly, writing has some therapeutic qualities to it. I also enjoy the feeling of a small victory and a clearer mind once I’m done writing about something that’s been bothering me for a while.

The reason I decided to take my ‘mind surfing’ to a blog is simply for the experience of it.

What topics would I like to write about?

I’d like to write about the twisted mind of ours and how we create our reality by literally thinking it into existence. How what we see around us and what we focus on affects our perception of who we are and our place in society.

Who would I love to connect with via my blog?

I’d like to connect with and bring together people who feel “different”. Those seeking more to life than what the mundane routine has to offer. As well as the more grounded “spiritual” people such as old souls, wanderers, deep thinkers, etc. who have a hard time finding a common ground with the mainstream spiritual folks.

What do I hope to accomplish with this blog?

The main purpose of this blog is for me to get a clearer vision of myself and my path. I’d like to attain a clearer state of mind and hopefully spark some inspiration in those who come across it.