I can’t exactly tell when I began feeling drained from going out. I just did it less and less and everyone around me wondered why. Now I know. It’s the lame “hit songs” blasting my ears. It’s the pointless chatter. It’s the terrible smell of perfume and cigarette smoke all around me, I can’t breathe. The world is so cluttered. And the noise is of the numbing kind. As if someone needs to hide an elephant in plain sight and does so through distraction aka numbing of the senses.
You know, when visiting family members in the past, I noticed the TV running with no one watching. If it wasn’t the TV, it’d be the radio. “Do they avoid silence like a plague?”, I wondered. “Or is it just because I’m like a guest in need of entertainment now?” The answer is simple: we can’t keep talking non-stop, and moments of silence are considered awkward.
You see, apparently, silence is for sad people. Maybe old people or some creeps. I say noise is a puppeteer. It plays you well and it’s addictive! Similar to drugs, after having a blast, your sober mind pulls you back into reality. All the things you pushed away and didn’t want to think about now line up knocking on your door. It sucks.
However, to continue functioning properly you have to take the trash out. I mean, you take your trash bags out once they’re full and stinky, right? Same goes for the mental trash. It might stink dealing with various unpleasant thoughts, fears an worries but you’ll be able to recognize thought patterns soon, you’ll gain a better understanding of who you are and what floats your boat. It’s true that once we learn how to feel comfortable in our own company we’ll never feel lonely again.