Part of being human is knowing fear. No matter how much people might argue that it is necessary for our survival – no one can argue against the fact that fear is of more than just one type. There is this ugly mental fear (thoughts, overthinking) vs the quite useful physical fear (feeling, the adrenalin rush). Physical fear can save lives in dangerous situations yet mental fear slowly destroys them from the inside out.
The key is not to be fearless, but to understand fear and where it comes from. Befriend it.
I used to have anxiety issues for a few years. Believe it or not, I still had them a few weeks ago. My anxiety problems began as soon as I wasn’t able to meet other people’s expectations. The disapproval of my personal decisions from closed ones had a tremendous impact on my inner world because I allowed it to. However, fate is such a funny thing. It doesn’t care about petty feelings. The way we feel about ourselves and others is purely our choice. Fate is very well aware of that. It doesn’t care about what people think is the best thing, it only cares about the right thing. And the right thing it will be.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not the type to worship fate, I am a firm believer that we are not victims of circumstance, by any chance, I would rather say fate is what we make it, yet … some things are predestined.
Both time and energy play a big part when it comes to anxiety issues. We might think we don’t have enough time to do all the things we want to do in life, or that things don’t go fast enough. We begin to lose faith, to feel stuck, we start to doubt ourselves and our path. The thing is that in most cases we have too much time on our hands with no suitable outlet for our energy to flow into. So we roam the realm of possibilities.
We begin thinking about the how’s and when’s wanting to control how things will enter our life, how we will achieve this and that – and because energy not invested positively turns foul and bitter – we get caught up in terrible thought chains within a matter of seconds. The final hit is when things don’t go the way we expected them to. Because this rarely happens. We feel like we lose our ground because we thought our plans were flawless. And if our plans didn’t work, what will?
The key to getting rid of crippling fear is learning to trust in something bigger than ourselves and move out of our way. We need to understand that we are not supposed to plan out every step of our journey. Our job is to make a decision and be clear on our goals. Let the universe handle the rest and enjoy the process. If life was all about goals and results – when and what would we learn in the meantime? Where’s room for personal growth in that scheme?
My anxiety issues declined gradually once I found a suitable outlet for my energy. I don’t have so much time to overthink anymore, I have something to look forward to because my energy is actually flowing somewhere. I learned to let go of wanting things my way and wanting them now. I understood the importance of self-exploration. And I am not anxious to experiment and try things out anymore because I finally gave up on perfection.