I think everyone who meditated once would probably agree with me if I say: meditation is tough. Since I’m not completely new to this anymore I think this time I can pull through. The excitement about where the journey would lead me to, keeps me motivated. I have a goal, yes, I’m going somewhere – but can I write about this? I’m afraid sharing the details lies beyond my comfort zone at the moment. Despite that I can still write about the journey.
Of course meditating on a whim is easy and can give you a quick result. What I want is more than that. I want a transformation. I want to heal myself. I want to cut the noise from my mind. I know it works. Here’s what I found:
Monkey Mind – Compared to meditating on a whim, it can be really hard to calm down and be relatively quiet every time. My mind keeps wandering off a lot. However, I am able to pull myself out of it. It took some practice and a lot of failed attempts to get to this point but I think now I’m good to go.
Falling Asleep – Inevitable. This still happened to me during this week even though I didn’t experience it in a while during my casual meditation sessions. It doesn’t frustrate me as much as it used to. If you’re new to meditation – expect to fall asleep a lot!
Fixed Stages – Okay this is getting interesting. I see colors once my body moves into a more relaxed state. My mind can be a monkey but I’ll see these colors – like I’m moving through a tunnel. If you try rubbing your eyes firmly for a few seconds you might get a better understanding of what I mean, even though it’s slightly different. It’s not distracting or anything, so don’t worry about this. The only curious thing is that sometimes it occurs right from the start, sometimes after 30 minutes. Sometimes it’s rather bright, other times it’s faint. It does occur in the dark and during day time. I can keep my eyes closed or opened – I’ll see them. The only connection I was able to make is that it occurs as soon as my body is relaxed, so seeing them is a good sign to me.
Another thing that occurs on a regular basis is a hardcore spinning sensation. I mean this when I say: it feels absolutely physical – as if someone just put you into a ball and is playing basketball with you in it. In space. The first time it happened I freaked out. However, the second time I experienced this I felt that I really need to allow it to pass by. So I did. And it’s good that I did because I experience this every now and then. Usually I feel very calm and relaxed once it settles. ^^ I don’t know what exactly it is – but I’ve been told that it’s some kind of energetic adjustment and the spinning sensation occurs when we’re ridding ourselves of some stuff in our energy field. What do you think?