I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

costume

Funny thing, isn’t it, we spend so much time at school preparing for the big ol’ world but once we’re out we feel like newborn babies, not knowing where we actually belong. I think, no matter what it takes, we all should take the chance to explore our inner worlds. We all should take the chance and pursue happiness – even if we still have to figure out what this means to us, even if going after it means rough times ahead. It’s better than having our hearts long for some place we think we can’t go.

So, to me, I made a promise that I will keep going, seeing what I can find in the labyrinth of my mind. Because I, for once, have no memories of who I am. But promises are just words and the universe speaks actions, not promises. What keeps me going is the uncertainty. The subtle excitement rushing through my veins when I ask myself: ‘What do I have to lose? What if … I keep going?’ What will I possibly find at the end of the road and what’s the alternative once I give up pursuing my real self? Frankly said, the alternative sucks so the only option left is to keep playing ‘Life’. And if the rabbit hole is the only thing that makes life worth living then that’s what I’ve been made for. I refuse to go down empty.

✦✦✦

33 thoughts on “I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

  1. I believe trying to pursue our true self is one of the most exciting adventures of life(and a bit crazy too). Our inner worlds are so so rich that is a shame to never explore it.
    Good luck on this journey!

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh! I don’t know about others but sometimes I find myself in pretty creepy places but at the same time fulfilling ones, and then nothing makes sense and then everything makes sense. Hands become feet and everything. Quite exciting. Sometimes I even wonder if I AM at all and these times are the craziest.
        Am I alone in this?

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Finding out our own identity, is the thing that we all need to do. This simple question “Who am I?” is such a difficult question to answer.
    Hope you will find the answer truly.. 😊😊

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I really love reading your posts! :) It is my experience that the harder I searched for happiness, the harder it was to find. Then one day, it found me… It was the journey that made it worth it though.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Oh shit. The last two lines. It hit my heart head on.
    Moon!! There’s so much to you that I don’t know of! I really can’t keep my desperation of knowing you better to myself. You seem like this VERY interesting and mysterious person. And to me, mysteries are to be solved.
    LOVED your post. Like always lol

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I thought this post was quite cheesy. But you know, the last couple of days were really rough – I couldn’t come up with anything beautiful or creative so I just wrote down my thoughts. And doing so feels really good. Next time you feel like shit, I recommend you, sit on your ass and have an honest ‘conversation’ with yourself – preferrably in written form. You’ll be surprised how much there is to YOU that you didn’t even know of!^^

      Liked by 1 person

      1. The reason why I started blogging was that, you know? Its funny how I felt like complete shit at that time. Maybe I’ll write about it some time. Jeez. I should make a list. I only remember these things while replying to your comments xD
        Anyway, I made a diary first but I couldn’t cope with the fear that someone would read it and hence the blog where I couldn’t write everything but at least I could write enough to make myself feel better! :D
        Also, Moon, if you ever feel like shit, I’ll be there. I’ll alwaysssss be there. If you need someone to talk to, I mean. Well, yeah, you probably have a ton of other people but, just letting you know :P
        LEAVE MOON ALONE YOU STUPID PROBLEMS. LET HER BE HAPPY GOD DAMMIT!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. haha you should really write the ideas down – especially now that you know when they’ll appear in your mind! Writing about your experiences might really be helpful to someone out there. And no I don’t have many people to talk to, I actually am pretty anti-social in real life xD well, I got my reasons! And the problems aren’t at fault, it’s me who attracted all the mess in the first place! Things don’t just happen to us, believe it or not, but it’s us who make reality happen.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. Yes, I’m gonna do that now on. You know, my friend and I started this blog so that we could put down the solutions to all the problems we face there. The idea was that we might need the solution later on and we could just go there and that if someone else needed it, they’d find it there.
        Aw Moon. If only I could tell you how much I can relate to you. Mooooon! You’re friggin awesome, okay?
        I don’t know, Moon. People don’t believe in luck but I really think it exists. There’s a probability of any event to happen and the chances that some event will take place in your life depends upon some factor right? I call that luck. It can be good or bad. Lol. I could derive a formula or something. Trust me, I’m not a nerd.

        Liked by 1 person

      4. Well, no matter what you do, just know that there’s always someone out there who listens. If you put out something that you stand for – there will always be someone who will stumble across your truth, because your truth sends a vibration out into the universe and those who resonate with it will gravitate towards it. Might take some time but the secret lies in honesty. As long as you’re honest, someone will hear you. I’m saying this because it seems like what we do is a drop in the ocean. But speaking from experience – we are always heard, even if we don’t notice it at first.
        Seriously though, I’d love to hear more of your not-so-nerdy theories :D

        Liked by 1 person

      5. I loved this! :D
        Truth as an energy which attracts people. :O New way of thinking about it!
        Yay :’) Now I know there’s someone in this world who actually wants to listen to the weird stuff I say!

        Liked by 1 person

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