I Don’t Know What I’m Doing


Funny thing, isn’t it, we spend so much time at school preparing for the big ol’ world but once we’re out we feel like newborn babies, not knowing where we actually belong. I think, no matter what it takes, we all should take the chance to explore our inner worlds. We all should take the chance and pursue happiness – even if we still have to figure out what this means to us, even if going after it means rough times ahead. It’s better than having our hearts long for some place we think we can’t go.

So, to me, I made a promise that I will keep going, seeing what I can find in the labyrinth of my mind. Because I, for once, have no memories of who I am. But promises are just words and the universe speaks actions, not promises. What keeps me going is the uncertainty. The subtle excitement rushing through my veins when I ask myself: ‘What do I have to lose? What if … I keep going?’ What will I possibly find at the end of the road and what’s the alternative once I give up pursuing my real self? Frankly said, the alternative sucks so the only option left is to keep playing ‘Life’. And if the rabbit hole is the only thing that makes life worth living then that’s what I’ve been made for. I refuse to go down empty.


Everyone Needs A Good Friend – Be One To Yourself

I don’t have any Zip today, in other words: I’m so damn tired lately. Then I realized how much I am at war with myself again – thoughts, ideas, dreams and fears all pull in different directions. Restless. Of course I’m not the only one like this. We all have our phases. A few weeks from now I probably won’t even remember feeling like this.

People waste too much time beating themselves up about their own imperfections. How do they hope to achieve greatness while thinking lowly of themselves? What if we all decided to be at peace with ourselves right here, right now? Can you imagine treating yourself as a friend? Does thinking of this put a smile on your face?


Empathy – A Victim’s Game

Empathy“the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another […]”

flowerEmpaths are not as rare as many people would like to believe. Everyone is an Empath to a degree. The illusion of it being so special is that most people never really tap into this ability and those who do, tend to over-dramatize it for various reasons. If you do a little research on this you’ll quickly find that most articles tend to give off a negative vibe. You would think that being an Empath is quite awful as a lot of self-proclaimed prodigies tend to cry their eyes out complaining about how drained they feel because of all the negativity they are surrounded by.

I’m sure those people are nowhere close to being an actual Empath. They simply seek attention because their inability to deal with their own negativity makes them feel like this all happens because they are so special and psychic, too fragile for this heavy world. Sure thing, Earth is no angel’s dream but I am more than sure that when a soul chooses to come to Earth they are aware of what they’re getting themselves into.

Ability vs. Responsibility

You’ve probably heard that power comes with responsibility. A person who can’t take responsibility over their own emotions can never have the power to tap into what others feel without turning themselves into a victim – despite the situation having nothing to do with them. Now there are Empaths out there who aren’t quite aware of why they get so involved with other people’s emotions. However, they never present themselves as the victim of the situation. This can become apparent when the unaware Empath begins to over-dramatize the situation somebody else is in, ending up completely devastated by the thought of that person’s suffering.

While they pick up vibes from other people and take on the same energy as their peers, they have the desire to lift everyone up . This makes sense because doing so would result in them feeling better as well. Ironically, in many cases, the ‘sufferer’ ends up comforting the Empath in an attempt to prove that they can deal with the situation.


The catch here is that the Empath is not a miracle worker. Even if that’s what they wish to be at first – they aren’t designed to make everyone happy but to guide people towards happiness. This is achieved through inner work – because no one is in control over our emotions aside from ourselves. We can get influenced by others but the final decision on how we feel about things is up to us. Empaths, in a sense, must learn to accept that they are powerless when it comes to other people’s hardships – even if they can perceive all of those things, they are in no position to decide when it’s time for someone to let go and move on. But they can stand by a person’s side and offer emotional comfort when it’s needed.

They must learn to take a step back and observe the situation from a neutral point of view without getting involved in it by picturing themselves as the sufferer. Many times it’s just a horrible fantasy and the true suffering is not as terrible as they imagine it.


The Path Towards Happiness – Blocked In Denial Of Sadness

Via Daily Prompt – Denial

I don’t understand why people want to force a happy state of mind by ignoring unpleasant emotions and ugly thoughts. Is it easier to pretend like it’s nothing? Lalalalalalala I don’t hear you!

Look, you don’t go around with a broken leg acting like it’s nothing, now do you? Why is emotional pain so different? There is a misconception that higher beings, our beloved angels for instance, are purely positive beings. We try to be like them. We want to be likeable, we want to appear lighthearted. Everyone wants a happy life. But life brings challenges, we get hurt every now and then – how to deal with that, no one knows. One thing is for sure: ‘grow up’, ‘you’re overreacting’ are the most common things we hear once we try to share our innermost feelings with the wrong people. And the ‘wrong people’ is almost everyone.

Even if you can go to a doctor to fix your broken leg, no doctor can fix a broken heart. Our emotions are ours to begin with and there is no one who could completely understand what we feel and why we feel this way. People only can make assumptions and comments based on their own experience and perception. Therefore, your heartache might seem laughable to another person and they’ll say you’re overreacting because this isn’t something they would bother dealing with.

Giving someone such power, as to decide which of your emotions are valid and which aren’t, is deadly. Seriously. You’re killing your heart by ignoring it and you’re risking to become dull and cynical just like the person who said your feelings are a mere overreaction. We should be grateful that we can feel such a wide range of emotions. People say you can’t enjoy spring without winter – this applies to feelings, too. You can’t know true happiness without knowing pain. And even our beloved angels wouldn’t be able to help us if they didn’t know pain. Or how do you think are they able to understand us?

Happiness Is A Personal Choice?!


Has someone ever taught you how to take responsibility for your emotions? Or that this was even a thing? Me neither. This is because it’s widely believed that emotions just happen and that other people are usually somehow involved with the way we feel. Like emotions are nothing we could truly control yet we’re taught to be mindful of our words and actions when we’re around a group of people. We’ve adapted rules and social standards as to not hurt or offend others. However, looking left and right all you see are people feeling offended! It’s because feeling this way is a personal choice and people are addicted to playing the victim role.

Illusion of Influence

There is no way we can be in control over what another person thinks and feels. Ever noticed how sometimes you begin thinking of something and you get so caught up in the thought process, it begins to alter the way you currently feel? This happens because thoughts and emotions go hand in hand.

So if a person thinks that you’re thinking badly of them, they’ll begin to feel that, too. Even if in reality that’s not the case they’ll begin reading more into your words and actions than what was actually said and done. It’s like some minor paranoia: they’ll think your tone was sarcastic the way you looked at them was condescending etc. there literally is nothing you can do about it because the way they feel about you is their personal choice and if they decide to feel offended by you, they will find or create reasons for that.

Of course there are people who do this on purpose, too. Trying to hurt and offend others for whatever reasons, I mean. People who are loud and constantly acting up are usually the ones trying to hide their own insecurities.

Personal choice

In any case: our feelings and emotions are always under our own control just as much as our thoughts are. Maybe it’s not something we like to hear but then again, the way our society works now shows that we avoid responsibility like hell. It’s easy to blame someone else for the way we feel. It’s difficult to admit that we choose to feel low and play the victim simply because it’s too much effort to stand up for ourselves and in some cases admit that in reality it’s us who are thinking lowly of ourselves deep within. But the universe always delivers according to the way we truly feel – sometimes through setting us in touch with people who’ll point exactly that out to us.


Of Noise, the Puppeteer and Silence, the Therapist

Label – Daily Prompt

You can label anyone and anything. Yes, even Noise and Silence.

– ★ –

I can’t exactly tell when I began feeling drained from going out. I just did it less and less and everyone around me wondered why. Now I know. It’s the lame “hit songs” blasting my ears. It’s the pointless chatter. It’s the terrible smell of perfume and cigarette smoke all around me, I can’t breathe. The world is so cluttered. And the noise is of the numbing kind. As if someone needs to hide an elephant in plain sight and does so through distraction aka numbing of the senses.

You know, when visiting family members in the past, I noticed the TV running with no one watching. If it wasn’t the TV, it’d be the radio. “Do they avoid silence like a plague?”, I wondered. “Or is it just because I’m like a guest in need of entertainment now?”  The answer is simple: we can’t keep talking non-stop, and moments of silence are considered awkward in our society.

You see, apparently, silence is for sad people. Maybe old people or some creeps. I say noise is a puppeteer. It plays you well and it’s addictive! Similar to drugs, after having a blast, your sober mind pulls you back into reality. All the things you pushed away and didn’t want to think about now line up knocking on your door. It sucks.

However, to continue functioning properly you have to take the trash out. I mean, you take your trash bags out once they’re full and stinky, right? Same goes for the mental trash. It might stink dealing with various unpleasant thoughts, fears an worries but you’ll be able to recognize thought patterns soon, you’ll gain a better understanding of who you are and what rocks your boat. It’s true that once we learn how to feel comfortable in our own company we’ll never feel lonely again! So long, be brave, dive into your mind and see what you will find!

The Mind Is Our Playground


In my previous post I wrote about ‘the twisted mind of ours and how we create our reality by literally thinking it into existence’- and this is some exciting stuff, probably just as exciting as a playground for a child! (At least how it was during my childhood, ha)

Speaking of childhood, I was a really active kid, I liked making discoveries just as much as I was into spooky and ‘mysterious’ stuff. These qualities remained unchanged up until now. However, today I’m more into psychology, astrology and the power of the mind. I am also intrigued by the negativity we surround ourselves with and dwell in as ‘grown-up’ human beings.

Negativity is something everyone experiences, it’s the uncomfortable feeling of uncertainty for some, the fear of what the future brings for others, the dissatisfaction with the ‘same old same old’, it might even be something we might not want to admit or want to look at, like a past trauma which keeps influencing our decisions from a hidden corner in our mind – we all have a bunch of those!

Yet it’s somewhat taboo in our society to deal with this. Why? I can’t be a 100% sure but from what I found, people would rather pretend negativity doesn’t exist because dealing with it would make them a negative being in their mind. While the complete opposite is the case in reality! You only can know true positivity after understanding what negativity is and where it comes from. Afterall, we don’t ignore the wounds on our body, why ignoring those in our minds?

Facing our big and little fears and going back in time to deal with past traumas brings about a sense of empowerment and can result in some sort of ‘personality change’. But at the same time it’s socially unacceptable to embark on a journey of self-therapy (like, who believes in that?!) and sometimes it’s considered ‘arrogant’ to have a strong sense of self.

So, looking at some of those hidden things inside my head revived this dormant feeling of going on an adventure I used to love as a kid. But this time it’s an adventure that never ends and I’m glad I’m making the decision to take it a step further and start sharing with others!