I’ve Been On A Trip To The Outernet

“I’m not sure what I’m getting myself into.”

The words from my last post make me chuckle.

The universe is such a funny place. It gives you exactly what you ask for.

I haven’t planned to “come back”. It’s been two months yet I feel like 2 years have passed. I am a different person. I thought I’d cringe skimming through my last post. I haven’t. I can smell “my touch” upon it. The energy I put behind my words – it’s a genuine text of mine, yes. Have I really changed as much then? What happened, Luna…

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I’ve been looking for something. Something to make me feel alive. Something to drive me mad, “consume” me. I’ve been looking for something worth losing sleep over.

And I found it. I can’t get enough.

It’s good to know that I’m just at the beginning. I dipped my toes into the deep waters so to speak. And I want more. Millions of questions run through my mind. Whenever I find an answer, 2 new questions come up. Well, more than two actually. It drives me nuts on one hand but makes my stay here worthwhile on the other.

I’ve been drowning in the boring “mundane” BS. We all know there’s more to life than sleep, work, consume, repeat. Can’t you feel you’re dying a little every day, doing the same shit over and over again? Do you feel satisfied? Can’t you feel the pull inside you to do something “real”? Something that gives you a sense of belonging, purpose? Something that makes you feel that you actually are here? Can you imagine standing on the top of a mountain, you see the Milky Way high above you, stretch your arms out, breathe in… What do you feel? Take your eyes off the meaningless chase after “nothing really”.

Do you feel a driving force behind your actions greater than “just to live another day” while minding your every day business? I couldn’t. But I wanted to.

I am far from having a clear picture but I haven’t been “losing” sleep for nothing. When you find that something that ends up consuming you like this, you won’t be able to sleep much. Trust me. It’s not the worrying type of losing sleep, no. The opposite of that. You’ll feel energized. The most valuable realization I had is that I really don’t have time to “play nice” and pretend being someone I am not.

Many people think they are being real, unique and edgy but they actually are maintaining a certain image of themselves. The way you want to be seen is not who you really are.

For most of us it is intimidating to really be ourselves. We don’t want to make ourselves vulnerable. We are programmed to try to fit in at all times. Don’t be weird and all. It’s hard to let go of such a deep seed within our minds. But it’s entirely possible. If you don’t let go of this you’ll never know your real self. No one in this world has to accept you but yourself. So why don’t you?

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We Are Incredibly Powerful

A belief, if based on a deception, is something we will desperately try to protect by all means – because that one belief makes up our perception of the world and we don’t like our worldview to change so easily when it’s us who don’t like change.

This is a reply post to “Freedom is my Virtue“. Since I started a conversation in their comment section but my reply this time would be too long for another comment.

“The place I live in is a bubble. […] I realize that living in a bubble does make us disconnected with reality.”

Yet you feel entitled to make such a serious post about the problems in this world while you admit to have no idea about reality. I am seriously intrigued and I want to give you another perspective. First of all, I do not make this post to attack you because I can see that you really, really want good for the world. But your idea is flawed because you want the things to stay as they are by making miniscule changes which in your mind would make the world somehow magically better (mostly for your conscience). I’m picking this up because you mentioned the impact the animal killing industry has on the people of this world and the environment.

You threw the word veganism somewhere in there but only to protect yourself from possible attacks against you.

” Not advocating veganism, here—but […]”

pexels-photo-112640Question: Since when do we have to fear to promote life, health and freedom? Not only the life of animals (if that’s worth nothing to you) but also the life of the people who die of the consequences of eating animals AND the survival of the actual planet we live on?

“[…] I don’t see why our government hasn’t yet jumped at the chance to carry out this world-saving masterplan.”

I can tell you why: supply and demand. Plus, the triple-profit you bring because you are what you eat. By eating death and disease you become death and disease and here’s where the government farms you. Pharmaceutics. Because people want to stay alive while making no lifestyle changes. Yet to my question as to why you’re ashamed to advocate veganism even though you clearly acknowledge its benefits on a large scale you say this:

“[…] yes, veganism guarantees greater health benefits and lessens environmental costs. But in the developed world, large-scale veganism would cause economic disruption […]”

pexels-photo-112855Another perspective: stopping wars from one day to another would cause large economic disruption. Supply and demand of weaponry, too many governments tied in, too many soldiers – who really are nothing but livestock to their governments are on the field (they send them to their deaths, you’re aware of that, right?) It is possible however, is to gradually stop causing unneccessary harm to living beings (including humans) as well as destroying the environment.

Lucky that this is the way veganism spreads opposed to your silly implication of total economic devastation in one sweep. Have you seen how many vegan food companies have been created lately, how many vegan restaurants open up daily? Vegan clothing, vegan everything, and this all grows gradually. We are not shutting down the animal killing industry today but we are shifting the supply and demand towards more beneficent, healthier options – steadily!

“There is nothing wrong with eating meat.”

So you’re saying there’s nothing wrong with clogging our arteries, literally and directly feeding certain types of cancer, living with hormonal imbalances caused by dairy (since we’re not baby cows, eh) I’m not even going to get into other common diseases most people suffer from at a certain age such as Dementia, Alzheimer’s etc – it’s all trackable to corpse and animal’s body fluids consumption.

Every actual nutritionist – a person who actually studied nutrition (such as the people from the American Dietetic Association) will recommend a vegan diet for health. They have proven that a vegan diet is appropriate for all stages of the life-cycle including during pregnancy, lactation, infancy, childhood, and adolescence. There’s tons of proof available at your fingertips, only if you’re willing to look. And I mean actual biological proof that our bodies are not developed for meat consumption which is the main reason our arteries clog from consuming animal products. Truly omnivorous or even carnivorous beings don’t develop atherosclerosis (= clogged arteries) after flesh consumption.

You advocate bad health and violence with both of your arguments. And if you deny that that is what you imply then PLEASE, please go and watch Gary Yourofsky’s ‘Best Speech You Will Ever Hear’, watch the documentary ‘Earthlings’

e8cf34a8f90e3d4360b8842603fd9083If the only freedom you value is your own freedom to make up the reality you want to see, you truly are free to remain in your bubble. But where’s the point in making those kind of posts on your blog?

The world won’t change unless you do and your voice won’t be heard if all you ever do is talk.

As of now it seems I am the only person who has truly heard you and I offer you the chance to educate yourself on what’s really happening in the world. Ignorance is no longer an excuse, you have all the info at your fingertips – I have linked all the crucial studies and video material to you so you don’t even have to look them up on your own. If you’re not the hypocrite you make yourself look like then prove yourself. I’d love to actually talk to you after you look into those things.

I Don’t Know What I’m Doing

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Funny thing, isn’t it, we spend so much time at school preparing for the big ol’ world but once we’re out we feel like newborn babies, not knowing where we actually belong. I think, no matter what it takes, we all should take the chance to explore our inner worlds. We all should take the chance and pursue happiness – even if we still have to figure out what this means to us, even if going after it means rough times ahead. It’s better than having our hearts long for some place we think we can’t go.

So, to me, I made a promise that I will keep going, seeing what I can find in the labyrinth of my mind. Because I, for once, have no memories of who I am. But promises are just words and the universe speaks actions, not promises. What keeps me going is the uncertainty. The subtle excitement rushing through my veins when I ask myself: ‘What do I have to lose? What if … I keep going?’ What will I possibly find at the end of the road and what’s the alternative once I give up pursuing my real self? Frankly said, the alternative sucks so the only option left is to keep playing ‘Life’. And if the rabbit hole is the only thing that makes life worth living then that’s what I’ve been made for. I refuse to go down empty.

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What’s Real?

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The bitter truth behind ‘be real’ is that most of us are nowhere close to being real and never will be. No matter how true to ourselves we think we are. I wonder – being born in a world full of standards, expectations, role models, idols, trends, fads, rules and customs – were we ever real to begin with?

Everyone Needs A Good Friend – Be One To Yourself

I don’t have any Zip today, in other words: I’m so damn tired lately. Then I realized how much I am at war with myself again – thoughts, ideas and fears all pull in different directions. Restless. Of course I’m not the only one like this. We all have our phases. A few weeks from now I probably won’t even remember feeling like this.

People waste too much time beating themselves up about their own imperfections. How do they hope to achieve greatness while thinking lowly of themselves? What if we all decided to be at peace with ourselves right here, right now? Can you imagine treating yourself as a friend? Does thinking of this put a smile on your face?

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The Game I Always Hated

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For a child the “smallest” things have the greatest impact. The early childhood is a very crucial stage in our lives where we learn about the world and people’s place in it. More often than not what we learn is complete trash. Why trash? Because we’re forced to do things we don’t want, we’re forced into artificial belief systems we don’t relate to and we’re forced to behave in a way some random person approves of. So most of us become vile trash and will teach the next generation how to be the same – or rather force them to become such because all we can approve of is trash, nothing less nothing more. What could a child possibly know? After all, adults have to teach them everything about the world, the one and only. So they can thrive and survive. Nah, take that back. So they can survive. That’s better.

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Have you ever played friggin’ ‘Musical Chairs’? :D I don’t know the origins of this game but it is a very popular one worldwide. Come, close your eyes and go back in time. Think about how you played it, visualize it. (Or if you’re lucky enough and you never had to participate in this madness, then imagine doing so now.) You are 5 years old. See yourself among all those kids running around the chairs put in a circle, suddenly you’re so excited because everyone around you is. All you know is that you have to sit down on a chair as soon as the music stops. And then it happens. But uh-oh! That little monster next to you takes your stupid chair! :’D You look around, what? There’s no place left. A-nd you’re out! Hey, all’s good, everyone’s having fun, they’re laughing – at you – nah silly, it’s just a game, we’re having fun now you forgot?

But how does the little you feel about this surprise?

I can tell for me it never was fun. No matter the outcome, whether I got a chair or not I felt like an idiot having to run in circles around a bunch of chairs in the first place.

I’ve actually seen kids crying after losing because that’s what happens with 5 year olds when they don’t get what they want. But this really goes down to a deeper level. Even if consciously we understand it’s just a game and nothing bad happens to us when we lose – the subconscious mind works differently. It works in pictures and symbolism. It works in feelings and emotions. Anything but words.

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What this shitty game actually teaches the kids is what you see adults doing in the “real world”. ‘Gotta use your elbows, kid! Because if you don’t, others will push you aside and you’ll never get your spot in the sun.’ On a subconscious level the game teaches us that you have to be selfish in order to win. The subconscious doesn’t care what we win. It notes the strong emotion that we want to win.

It doesn’t care if it’s just a game. It learns from the situation and creates an inner algorithm. This algorithm is something that gets triggered in other situations where we’re in competition. There’s not enough for everyone so you have to move fast. Be first. If you want to get to the top you have to push others out of your way and your win takes someone else’s loss. There aren’t enough chairs for everyone to sit comfortably, kids. You have to earn your chair even if it makes your friend cry. Otherwise the teacher will be mad at you, how dare you not play when they told you to?

Lack is something adults believe in and would die for if they had to prove you that it’s real. I’m sure there were more than enough chairs in the room before the adult decided it’s a good idea to practice some ‘reaction skills’. Even as you played the game – all around you were chairs, chairs, chairs. Maybe now that you’re out of the freak show you can feel free to have a choice.