Just A Story #3 – Feather

Just A Story #1 – Paine

“I’ll come over in a few minutes, Paine. I need some fresh air.” The truth is that I need to calm my mind before I can face our guest. I’m not myself ever since that night – did I really … ? “Understood~” Paine walks a few steps backwards before turning around and disappearing from my sight in elegance. Shouldn’t I be terrified of heights? Yet the terrace is my favorite place. It’s windy outside. The dark clouds are moving fast over my head, they seem too close. I wonder what’s so urgent, it is unusual for Ed to come over this late. We were going to visit the lab tomorrow morning anyway.

During the last 3 months I’ve been working with Ed, attempting to recover my memories. He served as my private doctor until I went from being the daughter of Alltheia’s representative to literally, Ms. Nobody. No one remembers me, I’ve seen my friends – I actually walked past them yet no one even bothers to look twice at me. Isn’t that the life I always wished for? I am as free as a bird now. Why do I need to know what happened, I could just take the life I was given and do whatever I want.

No, the reason I’m in this is because I want to know the truth. If it wasn’t for Ed I’d have no place to go to. Paine gave up her position in the lab just to keep an eye on me. But I don’t understand … why are Ed and Paine the only people in this god-damned city who still remember me? I’m not a ghost, or am I? Their involvement in my death is out of question – yet they are set to help me discover the truth by myself.

The wind gets colder as I catch a single feather gliding through the air from the corner of my eye. “Huh?” This feather … my body moves on its own I … I have to pick it up! It’s the feather from my dream last night. I keep seeing it over and over again! No, this can’t be … The dream … I can’t be sleeping! Quickly Erin, you have to look at his face, come on. My head hurts, I feel dizzy – as I let myself fall on the cold floor I watch the dream unfold in front of my inner eye. Within a moment – I find myself at the top of a high building – within a moment – I cling to the papers in my hands, this man … I have to see his face! He … he killed me! Echoing whispers run through my mind as I feel the shockwave hitting my chest. Time slows down as I fall off the edge, watching the magnificent winged being hovering over the building. I am nothing but a feather gliding through the air. “Erin White, you’re in my way.”

falling

To be continued…

Previous: Part 2 – Memories

Next: Part 4 – Time

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Just A Story #2 – Memories

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Our memories make us who we are. I close the book Paine bought yesterday and walk towards the window. The view from up here is breathtaking yet boring at the same time. It reminds me of a bustling ant colony. This place seems unreal.

Memories. Of course, I remember growing up, I remember the places I visited, the people I met … yet none of those memories is enough to give me a secure sense of identity. Looking down at the busy street I feel like this all is just a game, a wicked play designed to keep us separated from the source. Yet the people in this city seem so perfectly at peace. They fit in this world, all of them hold their place in it. They have families, friends. I see them fill the streets on the weekends. They do have a life, don’t they? Not that it’s perfect – I know they face struggles and feel pain. Yet the daily routine remains their first priority. These perfect citizen are built to preserve the status quo.

Nothing that I know about this place, none of the memories made here will change the feeling that there is so much more to everything than what we’re allowed to see. I feel as if the words I speak come out tainted. My mind is always busy finding the perfect pitch, will I ever be able to express myself freely, without the feeling of someone erasing my thoughts before I can speak them out loud?

My name is Erin White. And I committed suicide on a cold December night. At least that’s what the newspapers tell me. All of them. I can’t remember dying but the change of character, Paine’s appearance, all those stirred emotions and the confusion I find myself in show that something really happened. I did die on that night.

“I made you some tea.” Paine’s calm voice echoes across the room. “Come and join us, if you like.”

To be continued…

Previous: Part 1 – Paine

Next: Part 3 – Feather